Loot Grind Simulator Review

Sometimes, you’re left wondering what to do next, and somewhere deep within the recesses of your cerebrum, you hatch a simple yet destructive plan of playing an idle game. Now, there are plenty of other alternative game genres you could be playing other than the incremental genre, but if you’ve reached a point in your life where it’s either playing an idle game or doing meth in your closet, I’d suppose the idle game is the better pick, which is why I’m reviewing Loot Grind Simulator.

The grind

Throughout the lifespan of the game, you’ll be constantly undertaking quests for the explicit purpose of leveling up. Your goal? Hit level 1000, by any means necessary. And by that, I mean clicking on quests until you hit the maximum quest amount of 10, which you then patiently wait until your current ones are done to accept more. Each quest will display its level, the type of item offered, the quality of the item, and the speed of the quest. The time a quest takes to be completed not only depends on the stated speed, but also the difference between your power level and the quest’s level. If your power level is higher, the quest will be completed faster and vice versa.

The purpose of quests is to obtain bits and baubles of equipment. You can find weapons, helmets, belts, trinkets, and various other staples for an adventurer. Can you actually use them in combat? No. It’s just an idle game, I’m afraid, but you can go under the Collection tab to see an item’s portrait under its category, at least. The main reason to care about equipment is to make leveling faster as a stronger item will raise your power level, which will make quests quicker to complete, which will mean you will get gear faster, raising your power level faster, making quests quicker—the grind never ends.

So, how is Loot Grind Simulator as a game? Well, good thing it’s free. In terms of functionality, it works as intended and there’s no bugs as far as I can tell, but that’s because the game’s mechanics are simple: it’s just clicking. You don’t actually see a representation of your character, nor do you have a visualization of quests being done outside of progress bars going up, nor do you actually know what the quests are, really. Now, I’m not expecting anything complex from an idle game, but the thing is that there’s no sense of immersion in what you’re doing. And, well, you can’t actually idle the game, either. See, at the start, quests are incredibly quick to complete; it takes more time adding the maximum amount of quests allowed than waiting for a single quest to end. Quests don’t autocomplete either; you have to manually accept the completion reward. What this means is that you can’t leave the game running and come back expecting progress to be made, because all progress is halted if you accept new quests yourself, which defeats the purpose of an idle game. Oh, and if you exit the game and relaunch it, any quests that you had going will disappear.

Loot Grind Simulator is specifically said to be satire, and I definitely see the message. MMOs and looter shooters can be boiled down to the exact core concepts this game showcases: do quests, level up, get items which helps do quests better and consequentially level up faster. It’s a neat way of conveying that message, but I ultimately wouldn’t play this game as an idler. In terms of being a game, it relies solely on the serotonin boost you get from seeing something completed with a rare item being your reward, but when that item is literally just an icon in a picture book, the excitement you feel is understandably dulled. But like I said, it’s a satirical game that’s free to experience, so I’m not disappointed in playing this. In fact, I checked out the developer’s itch.io page and he has some neat stuff like asset packs of pixel guns anyone can use for free. If in the future he decides to start a serious game project, I’d keep an eye out for it, but as for this game, look elsewhere to sate your idler craving.

You can play Loot Grind Simulator for free on Steam.

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